I was clouded with self-doubt during the last floorball training. I understand that it is a niche cca in the school. I just was'nt prepared and did'nt know it was going to take a toll on me. When I was singled out for not holding the stick properly, I felt lousy. A million emotions ran through my mine. The same question that have been bugging me during the past training felt almost palpable.
''What am I doing here?''
I did'nt like floorball in the first place. I am trying to give my best and with confidence running low in the last training, I swear it affected my playing. I kept shooting blanks, way off the goalpost. Everytime the ball came to me, my first instinct is always to kick the ball. Not hit it with a stick. Oh gawd. I need to improve my hand-eye coordination. I would have loved to use hand-feet coordination. Self-doubt was clouding me whole and I stood no chance in its magnificent, almost strangling hold on me.
I sighed. I felt so weak. Mentally.
I want to prove myself in the next training. Oh gawd. Saturday got match. Where was mercy when you need it?
I will keep trying.
Pondering
How can someone's anger be...endearing?
Signing off now.