my daily rants and rhapsody

2010-02-25T06:20:00.000-08:00

Self-Doubt

I was clouded with self-doubt during the last floorball training. I understand that it is a niche cca in the school. I just was'nt prepared and did'nt know it was going to take a toll on me. When I was singled out for not holding the stick properly, I felt lousy. A million emotions ran through my mine. The same question that have been bugging me during the past training felt almost palpable.

''What am I doing here?''

I did'nt like floorball in the first place. I am trying to give my best and with confidence running low in the last training, I swear it affected my playing. I kept shooting blanks, way off the goalpost. Everytime the ball came to me, my first instinct is always to kick the ball. Not hit it with a stick. Oh gawd. I need to improve my hand-eye coordination. I would have loved to use hand-feet coordination. Self-doubt was clouding me whole and I stood no chance in its magnificent, almost strangling hold on me.

I sighed. I felt so weak. Mentally.

I want to prove myself in the next training. Oh gawd. Saturday got match. Where was mercy when you need it?

I will keep trying.

Pondering

How can someone's anger be...endearing?

Signing off now.

2010-01-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

You know that I could use somebody.

Results came much sooner than expected. Its next Monday. I feel so emotionally fragile right now these few days that the littlest of things can set me in an emotional frenzy.

I shut myself from the world at times.

People if you can see or infer that results are not up to expectations, dun ask because you want to know. Ask because you care. There are those who especially like to ask people how much they scored. And ironically they always ask those who they presume are weaker than them. So by knowing and making the person acknowledge the fact that they are weaker gives these horrid people feel better about themselves. Others just want satisfaction that they beaten their bitter rivals in terms of academics. Horrid people.

Do not cry because its over. Smile because it happened.

As for the results on Monday, what will be will be.

Signing off now.

2009-12-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

Hey you! The stupid one! Why dream so big when you might not achieve them? Know your limits. When you cannot reach your goals, are you going to crash and burn?!

Now that I got your attention, perhaps some of you are feeling insecure about yourself. Be in in looks, academics or ambitions. Ever experience that you want to achieve something and someone tells you straight to you face that you simply can't that you think too much of yourself to think you can achieve such things? That is how I feel right now. I am already clouded with so much self doubt. I did not ask for any encouragement neither did I expect any. Discouraged. I don't think people understand or would understand.

Imagine

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Trying to salvage every ounce of courage and self esteem.

Signing off now.

2009-11-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

The reason I choose not to become one because I do not want to put myself in a position where I am judged and make myself clouded with self doubt. That I am not good enough. That I just could not cut it.

I was the last to know.

A little more humanity please.

Signing off now.

2009-11-24T01:19:00.001-08:00

We Were'nt Born To Follow.

2009-11-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

O levels is officially over.

Indulge myself with lots of computer and television. Namely, watched episodes of Legend of the Seeker and a couple of movies and dramas The Mentalist.

I soooooo want to buy the book by Terry Goodkind Wizard's First Rule of which the Legend of the Seeker is based on.

I wanna run to a cave.

I have a constant urge to keep on eating. Need to hit the gym real soon. Maybe I should run at the stadium. Going gym makes me nervous. All those really muscular people and athletic ones go there and it always makes me feel like a skinny wimp in comparison. Aarg. I need to run.

Richard Cyper!

Anticipating New Moon!

Signing off now.

2009-09-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

Liverpool versus West Ham match later. Hoping they win by a huge margin. Torres seems ineffective these days. Perhaps its because so many defenders are marking him since he is one of the most accomplished strikers in the English Premier League. Yossi Benayoun and Dirk Kuyt have been scoring goals. Hoping Rafa would always put these two in the starting team. The absence of Xabi Alonso seems to leave a hole in Liverpool.

Lee Min Ho

Currently watching Mackerel Run starring Lee Min Ho. He very cute in the drama. Teehee. I am watching dramas in the midst of 'O' lvls. I have got to put a stop to this.

There is only Chemistry Paper One left next week. Frankly, I am not waiting in anticipation for the results because its going to be very demoralizing.

All the more worth fighting for.

Signing off now.

2009-09-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

2009-08-31T05:14:00.000-07:00

Happy Teachers Day to all teachers!

I would to take this opportunity to thank all the teachers that made an impact on me regardless of the magnitude.

First and foremost, I would like to express my heartfelt thoughts. Let's start with my form and co-form teachers.

Mr Siau and Mdm Zahara
You guys are AWESOME having to put up with students like us, 4E5 students are difficult to handle I must say, and you guys have to have a gargantuan amount of patience not to scream and shout at us. I know we are no angels (we're more of tykes or like boisterous five-year-olds ). We're kinda sorry that we could not get the i-class awards you guys envisioned for us at the start of the year. We disappoint much than we make you guys proud. Mdm Zahara, you have been the nicest and patient teacher to us 4E5. You scolded us tactfully when we had complaints in our class diary regarding the standard of our cleanliness of the class. You sincerely care. I know. Mr Siau, I have not had the chance to thank you for letting me off the hook that time I skipped school to see Torres. ( no regrets there ) Any 'sane' teacher would have done otherwise. Especially since I lied saying I had sore eyes before coming clean. And for that, I am grateful. I must say this. You guys are really awesome. And have an awesome Teacher's Day.

Cikgu Asnah
Selamat Hari Guru daripada semua pelajar Bahasa Melayu Lanjutan daripada Sekolah Menengah Yishun Town. Saya ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kepada cikgu atas tunjuk ajar cikgu. Saya tahu saya kadang-kadang malas nak buat kerja sekolah yang cikgu berikan. Heehee. :) Terima kasih cikgu kerana telah bersusah payah print kertas latihan Anderson untuk kami semua dan tidak meminta apa-apa pun daripada kami. Cikgu power! Sekali lagi, terima kasih.

Miss Kong and Mdm Tan
Woohoo! Chemistry and Physics teachers. Thanks Miss Kong for everything you have done for our class. Our class is lazy to the core. I know. But we're trying to change. You are such an inspiration. To sum it up in three words, you are an awesome, dedicated and decisive teacher. Mdm Tan you're exercises are funny. Still, it keeps us awake. You make Physics sound so easy most of the times. Yet, I still struggle to pass. But I know one thing for sure. You'll be there when we need you. For that, thanks. Happy Teachers Day! :)

I don't want to let you guys down.
I'll study hard.

Maybe after eating later.

After reading a book.

After watching television.

And play computer games.

Lols.
Me and my predictable procrastination.

Signing off now.

2009-08-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

Do not mistake my supposed indifference for callousness.

I am just not sure of what to say or if what I say is judge or misinterpreted.

Teacher's Day Performance is coming up in two days and there is still cracks here and there in our performances.

I always wonder if you're anger is just a facade. If the world is in the hands of such people like you then the world will be in utter chaos. If you want to do a performance for the teachers to appreciate then you would not have gotten angry over it. Make sense to most people I know.

Signing off now.

2009-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Strange how I say I don't care but those little comments still affect me. Which makes those little comments seems so significant when they are not.

Strange how one can be worth more dead than alive. I am, of course referring to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

Strange how the school expects so much from us when they took so much from us. I am referring to our personal time. Most of us spend almost twelve hours in school. Sighs.

Every A Maths lesson seems like hell to me. That oh so familiar dreaded feeling comes when the maths teacher walks in. Its seems to loom at every corner of the timetable. I feel dazed and confused all the time. Dang this subject.

The Cadbury Advertisement.

This is funny and weird. I need laughters these few days. Funny how I can't seem to laugh like I used to these few days.

Signing off now.

2009-05-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

I want to watch them live in Singapore. Dang! I can't buy the tickets. How often do you get to see them coming to Singapore? Sighs. Me and a group of friends planned to go to the airport. I really, really, really want to see them. Ferdinand and Guo Wei say they going. The green monster is swelling inside of me. I am jealous that they going. Arg!

Man U lost to Barcelona. Can't hide my happiness here.

I hate that authoritative figure. Tengah tahan barah api yang penuh dengan kebencian.

Signing off now.

2009-05-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yoon Ji Hoo. (second from the right)

I'm back. After so long.

Today had assembly. Horrid remarks were hurled at us. They told us what we were of what was. Failures. We can't even be on par with last year batch during mid-year. Basically our results sucked. Alot. Hey, we are already demoralized right here. There is'nt a need to dampened our already low spirits.

Maybe she was just trying to wake us up from our slumber that 'o' levels is still so far away. Sighs. She asked why our batch was like that. I came up with a possible conclusion to why we are performing so badly.

I speak on the behalf of my friends of those I know and agree with reason. The timetable is draining our energy. Our curriculum ends at four-thirty on most days. And that excludes the time we want to meet teachers to clarify our doubts. The extra classes. When we get home, we have to complete our homework and when we want to study or revise, our eyelids tell us they want to close, our brains tell us that they are tired, our body tells us that we need some much needed rest. Our attention span gets lesser with every passing hour in the night when we are revising. To sum it all up, the timetable drains our energy making us very tired when we go home.

Time management. That would be the politically correct term to say about our studying time. That is why we have weekends right? It's to unwind and relax after a chaotic week. Seriously, we're humans right? Like I said before and would say again.

There is only so much you can stretch a rubber band. It might just snap.

Maybe, we students complain too much. Maybe this could all be worth it. The timetable could be to our benefit. But then again, there is always two sides to a coin.

Signing off now.

2009-05-07T00:46:00.000-07:00

My list of all-time favourite dramas:

1. Boys Over Flowers

2. Boys Over Flowers

3. Boys Over Flowers

Everything else I have watched or going to watch lands below here. Heehee.

Yoon Ji Hoo! Gu Jun Pyo! I have been washed by the Korean Dramas wave. Its airing on Channel U in May. I have watched it two times. Planning to catch it again if I change the channel to Channel U.

Between, if it is'nt any obvious, EXAMS is OVER. Now begins the stressing period over results. I schrewd up A Maths and E Maths Paper Two. I shudder to think about the rest of the subjects.

With good friends like these, who need enemies? I have not been spending time with friends. Darn those exams. Seriously, exams are just tests, wildly blown out of proportion.

Signing off now.

2009-04-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

I read the IN Section in the Straits Times last Tuesday and found out that Singapore students squeeze 42 hours into 24 hours. If that's the case, I think for my school its like 45 hours since our curriculum end later that the norm.

I believe everyone's entitled to their own opinions. I am not a saint. I can't keep things bottled up and let go just like that. I need to thrash these out sooner or later, don't I?

Lately, I feel like I am in a different world. I feel left out in their conversations. Language barrier perhaps? Haix. I believe my tolerance level is not that low. I can still live and let live. If I bear grudges now and then or take things to heart at the slightest things, the hatred can consume me whole. I know that but still...

I'm only human.

I can still take your punches.

I hate my classroom duty. To the max. I can sweep and everything else but clean the windows with newspapers that are wet? Everyday? Are you kidding? What am I? I presume if those annoying people were given such duty, they would do it without the slightest grimace? Perhaps not. I am not a spoiled brat like some people I know. Get this straight.

I would do my duty if you ever lift a finger to do manual work and not boss people around. Seriously, it's annoying. That whiney voice of yours telling people to do their work.

I had my say in this matter.

Signing off now.

2009-04-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

I found the transcript to Avatar episodes. There is two scenes I find interesting. Seriously, Zuko has come a long way before becoming Firelord. Kudos to this website:

http://www.avatarspiritmedia.net/transcripts.php

Zuko: First of all, in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar, not me.
Fire Lord Ozai: Why would she lie to me about that‌
Zuko: Because the Avatar is not dead. He survived.
Fire Lord Ozai: (alarmed) What‌!
Zuko: In fact, he probably is leading this invasion. He could be on us right now.
Fire Lord Ozai: (stands up and points, furious) Get out! Get out of my sight right now if you know what’s good for you.
Zuko: That’s another thing. I’m not taking orders from you anymore.
Fire Lord Ozai: (seething with rage) You will obey me or this defiant breathe will be your last! (Ozai begins to walk towards Zuko, until Zuko unsheathes his broadswords and brandishes them at him.)
Zuko: Think again! I am going to speak my mind and you are going to listen.

Zuko: For so long, all I wanted was you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. (points a sword at Ozai) My father, who challenged me; a 13-year-old boy to an Agni Kai. How can you possibly justify a duel with a child‌
Fire Lord Ozai: It was to teach you respect.
Zuko: It was cruel! And it was wrong.
Fire Lord Ozai: Then you have learned nothing.
Zuko: No, I’ve learnt everything! And I had to learn it on my own. Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history and somehow, the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation! They don’t see our greatness, they hate us! And we deserve it. We’ve created an era of fear in the world. And if we don’t want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.
Fire Lord Ozai: (laughs mocking) Your Uncle has gotten to you, hasn’t he‌
Zuko: (closes his eyes for a second) Yes. He has.

Another episode:

Zuko: I like it when you express yourself. (he reaches for her, but she backs away)
Mai: (yelling) Don't touch me. I'm still mad at you.
Zuko: My life hasn't been that easy, either, Mai. (Mai interrupts him)
Mai: Whatever- that doesn't excuse the way you've been acting.
Ty Lee: Calm down, you guys. (cut to Ty Lee and Azula sitting behind her) This much negative energy is bad for your skin. You’ll totally break out.
Zuko: (angrily) Bad skin‌ (Ty Lee cringes. Cut to shot of Zuko looking toward her) Normal teenagers worry about bad skin. I don't have that luxury. My father decided to teach me a permanent lesson on my face. (Zuko points toward his scar) (Cut to shot of Azula, Zuko and Ty Lee)
Ty Lee: Sorry, Zuko, I... (Zuko walks away from them and the camera follows him)
Zuko: For so long, I thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. I'm back home, now my dad talks to me. Huh, he even thinks I'm a hero. (cut to Azula, who smiles at these words) Everything should be perfect, right‌ (cut to over-head wide shot of the four teens sitting around the fire) I should be happy now, but I'm not. I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why.
Azula: There's a simple question you need to answer then. (she leans forward) Who are you angry at‌
Zuko: No one, (he looks down) I'm just angry.
Mai: Yeah, who are you angry at, Zuko‌
Zuko: Everyone... (he covers his ears in frustration) I don't know.
Azula: Is it Dad‌ Zuko: No, no!
Ty Lee: Your uncle‌
Azula: Me‌ (Cut back to shot of Zuko who shakes his head in frustration)
Zuko: No, no... No, no.
Mai: Then who‌ Who are you angry at‌ (The camera quickly pans right, stopping on Azula) Azula: (sternly) Answer the question, Zuko.
Ty lee: (pleading) Talk to us. (Cut to shot of Zuko looking confused and frightened)
Mai: Come on, answer the question.
Azula: Come on, answer it. (Cut to wide shot of group. For a moment there is silence)
Zuko: (yells suddenly) I'm angry at myself! (Zuko throws his arms down and the campfire bursts into a column of flame. The girls cover their eyes to protect themselves from the fire. Cut to a close shot of Zuko as wind and embers fly through his blowing hair. The fire burns out and the scene grows dark. Cut to a wide shot of the group)
Azula: Why‌ (Cut to shot of Zuko looking out at the sea with Azula sitting behind him)
Zuko: Because I'm confused. Because I'm not sure I know the difference between right and wrong anymore.
Azula: You're pathetic.

Avatar is a thought provoking cartoon. I meant that in a good way though.

Have faith in me.
But then again, those who do, always end up disappointed.

Signing off now.

2009-04-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

School

Things have not always turned out they way I want these days but life seems a little bit colourful these week. My mentor, Miss Kong walked to my table during one of the chemistry lessons these week in which she gave back our electrolysis test.

She said, '' You're improving. ''

I felt my motivational level went up a notch.

NPCC

I have been promoted to Staff Sergeant. Woohoo! On the downside, we are going to officially step down real soon. The sec threes are probably very excited to step up. Haix. Their sec three life is going to be the prime of their secondary school days while ours is full of pushing and pulling of students to study by certain authority figures.

Honestly, there is only so much you can pull a rubber band. It might just snap.

POP yesterday at Northbrooks. I threw my beret up in the air and managed to catch it. Then me and Jiawen were reminiscing the highlights of our NPCC lives before the conversation turn a little bit strange. We were discussing about ______. Fill in the blanks.

Mischievous? Us. Me and Jiawen have heard that before. I remembered in sec two, this senior said:

'' You all two mischievous like hell.''

We took it as a compliment. He did not came back as a CI. I still can't help but smile whenever I think about our sec one and sec two days. When they were here. The NCOs 06-07 batch.

Signing off now.

2009-04-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

There is so many things I wanna update. Namely:
> Pulau Ubin trip
> Official Opening Ceremony Duty
> NPCC trainings
> Promotion

I need a huge dose of endorphins and serotonins. ( I am not quite sure about the spelling of the latter. ) Lately I have not been in the best of moods. People, if you do not know yet, one of my pet peeves is people cutting queue. It irks me to the core and it let me into some hostility with some sec fives( that is if they behave like sec fives ). Just because you are the oldest in the school student population, dun think that you are some bigshot who can jump and hog the queue like nobody's business. You let your friends jump queue. Not one or two mind you but at least nine. GRR.

I will update soon.

Signing off now.

2009-03-17T20:11:00.001-07:00

I have watched episode 20 of Boys Before Flowers. Currently waiting patiently for episode 21. Woohoo~. I must say that Ji Hoo looks like an anime (in a good way of course) after his haircut.

Want to share this incident which happened months ago. I saw this car heading towards this narrow road at a certain place. A man walked pass and he got honked at by the car repeatedly. The man in the car honked at the man very rudely. Apparently at that point of time he looked like a rude dude who wants to get his way out of the place. The pathetic dude who got honked at got a lot of stares from the nearby Kopitiam. Those uncles at the Kopitiam also witness the incident and perhaps, felt pity for the dude who was rudely honked at.

Just when I wanted to dismiss the guy in the car as a lowly, rude and downright annoying, this happened. The guy in the car shouted from the window of his car to the pathetic guy who was walking away. Actually what happened was that he wanted to call the guy whom is maybe his ex-classmate, relative, or even his friend to look his way. Before long, the guy acknowledged this seemingly rude friend of his and they both chatted a while before leaving the place.

What a way to grabbed someone's attention. Honking. Tsk. Tsk.

So the moral of the story is to not be judgemental. I admit I can really judge a person harshly just by one incident. It takes another incident for me to change my mind, my perception, my judgement of a person. Sometimes, it is really hard to see the best in people. In contrast, it is easy to see the negative side in people. I have always wondered when reading Harry Potter books (before the seventh book) why Dumbledore trusted Snape so much. I always felt that he has a soft spot to always see the best in a person. I despised Snape until the seventh book. What a tragic hero of the series he is. Dumbledore was right after all about him.

So change the topic. I need to rant this out. There is a coward lurking the hallways of YTSS. Shall not reveal the name but I have never seen a coward who shows his colours when he is with the company of his friends but cowers away when he is alone. Shame.

I am listening to Broken Strings by James Morrison Feat. Nelly Furtado. A meaningful song with meaningful lyrics. People should listen to this song. I put this song on my blog currently. Nice.

Try to see the best in a person. I'll take note of this.

Signing off now.

2009-03-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

Okay. So I'm a a wee bit addicted to the drama, Boys Before Flowers. Can you blame me? Korean guys like Lee Min Ho just got me a wee bit excited at times. I could never see this coming.

Gorgeous.

So there is so much to update and to rant about. Idiot! I was pissed when a remark was made in front of the juniors. So I'm offended but I did not blow my top. That was crude, what you did. I guess I'll let it slide this time.

I am always a sucker at times. Even if I get irritated these few days, I'll just smile and say never mind. Ouh. If there was someone like Edward Cullen who reads minds, who knows what I'll be thinking. If there was someone like that is near me, I'll be wary. I will try to block my thoughts that is deemed personal to me.

I have so much to say. But then, I will only heaved a sigh and let it pass.

Stick and stones can break my bones but words can't. Ever heard of this saying? It's true. But sometimes words can hurt. Psychologically.

Okay.

Signing off now.

2009-03-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

Life has been harsh these days.

These drama have almost certainly made my life a little bearable these days. Seriously. I can't study so much until I don't have a life right? I know its pathetic but still, a wee bit of entertainment in one's life helps one to balance between study until no life and dun study until very slack. Just dun hang precariously on the edge of one side. LOLS.

I sometimes feel like i am teetering on the edge of insanity. A ticking time bomb that when triggered at the right timing, would explode or in these case, snap at everyone.

Sometimes, one can crack under too much pressure.

Anyway, cupcake is HAWT! Fatin, Siti lets buat fan club!

I super like this drama. And Gu Jun Pyo or Goo Joon Pyo character.
A pity he fell on the red carpet. No one can fall and gracefully picked himself up on the red carpet like Lee Min Ho. Kudos dude.

Signing off now.

2009-02-27T07:01:00.001-08:00

Some things I want say but cannot say it out loud.

I really did not mean to.

I am very sorry.

I know I am a lousy person.

Please do not shove words into my mouth.

I did not bother to explain myself. To defend myself.

It was a lost cause.
Laksana wau melawan angin.

Sometimes I feel my soul died a long time ago. I feel lifeless most of the time. Speak only when spoken to. Laugh at what was meant to be funny. Cry when it is supposed to be sad. Be good to everyone. I feel empty most of the time these days. Like a donut, I feel empty in the centre.

I am shadow of my former self.

Signing off now.

2009-02-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life can force you to take pragmatic decisions that one day you realise everyday you are doing the same things and life starts to get mundane.

I want an adrenaline rush. I want the thrill of winning something. I want the thrill of getting away with something like some prank. I sound desperate. The situation is not that dire actually.

Can we have a bbq some time so he could come again? Random question.

What am I listening to currently? Let's review.

First would be Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback.

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

That's the chorus.
I think it's true for most people.

I listen to Insomnia by Craig David.
It's infectious.

These few days have been better than last week. Except for the daily dose of A Maths. It is like learning a language I do not understand. It is like forgetting someone I never knew. It is like finding your way in the dark. You never know what lurks in front of you. In these case its numbers and alphabets. When mixed you get topics in A Maths. LOLS. I am saying nonsense about these subject. Again. These timetable is really draining my energy out.

Signing off now.

2009-02-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

NPCC NCOs 08-09 The Last Barbeque
Proud to be part of the organising committee. :)

Here is some pictures to get a scope of what happened.

This barbeque is AWESOME and it was a blast.

Jack preparing the drinks.

People in a chaos. LOLS.

Jiawen and me. Satay anyone?

Squadmates.

Wan Jun staring at what? One wonders.

YEP. The blue shirt is Roland. The guy in the singlet looking outfit is Jia Hui.

Squadmates. All smiles.

Bernard thinks he is Superman. JKJK.

Farid waiting anxiously for his food.

Uh oh. Zhuang Yi has that evil look in her eyes. Brace yourselves everyone. JKJK.

Random.

Random. Again.

Fatin and Michael.

Our batch of NCOs. And some seniors.

Like Jeremy, Jia Hui, Aaron, Roland, Zhuang Yi and Masdiyanah.

Our NCOs in the 06-07 batch.

Memories that will etched in my mind.

Signing off now.

2009-02-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

Everything is spiralling downwards.
Sucky results.
Seriously, my mood swings are getting apparent.
One minute I am smiling from ear to ear and the next I am getting pissed by the simplest of things.

I always caught up in my emotional turbulence and sometimes I don't get myself. Man, I need a listening ear. Not someone who gives me solutions but hear me out. The introvert in me is taking over me again.

I think all I need is some adrenaline rush. Which reminds me of the pranks we used to pull together on the seniors. Those were good times man. Now it seems so far away.

I am sounding tired and drained out these days. Jiawen and Jonquil have been saying that I am a little bit blur nowadays.

Signing out now.

Fighting Off A Smile

2009-01-31T05:15:00.000-08:00

Accuracy, Precision, Sharpness.

Gerald sir kept repeating these three words during training today. And its giving me a headache.
Staff Sergeant Promotion is looming. Honestly, I have to brush up my drills.

I miss being a junior at times.

NPCC Fun Day 2006

Training was sucky in the first part. Roland sir came to training today. Out of the blue. Anyway, it was fun in the last part of the training. The atmosphere started to get hyper. We were like enthusiastic. It took so long for us to build-up that kind of semangat. LOLS.

Stop talking about handing over already. You guys talk like its looming over our heads. Make us enjoy our last few weeks of training as NCOs in peace, joy, fun and laughter. Its sad that the services we rendered are not recognised. Sighs.

What's left of us. Memories.

Okay, this post is beginning to sound emo.

Okay.

Signing off now.

2009-01-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

I was doing HMT test when I heard she said this:

Tengok tak masuk.
Baca tak faham.
~Cikgu Asnah

Lols. I'm not even sure I heard right. For the sake of non-malay readers out there, its simply means that you look but it does not get inside your head. You read but it still does not get inside your head. But it makes sense when doing certain exams. Particularly a maths. Haix. Doing the exam is like slow torture. I would be the first to finish. Cause I dun noe how to do most of the questions. It's like blank blank here blank blank there.

HMT exam was a hellish experience. Apparently nobody informed me that there will be an exam. Gosh, selfishness reeks. Kidding. I smell sarcasm in my own words.

Update more later when I am free.

Signing off now.

2009-01-24T21:32:00.000-08:00

I am sixteen!!

Woohoo!!

NC 16 movies, here I come. JKJK. I am not that horny.

Feels great but I feel old at the same time. I want to fly to Neverland, where one does not grow old. It is just a childish fairytale. Plus, it is not a bed of roses not having to grow up. That reminds me of the movie in which Brad Pitt stars in, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It is about a story where a guy grows up old. As time passes, he gets younger while the woman he loves get older. If everyone was like that in reality, one would know how long one is supposed to be on earth. Living like that, freaks most people out. But then again, its a matter of perspective.

Jiawen and Jonquil bought me a pair of spectacles. Black frames. Plus, it has UV protection. Design Italy. Its really cool!! Thanks alot guys. I mean ladies. LOLS.

Yesterday, my family and I went out to celebrate my birthday. We ate out and they bought me a really cool watch. I am going to wear it when school reopens. Cool!! I am contented.

Recently, I have not been able to focus and study at home for the term tests. I tend to sleep instead of studying. The next morning I will be rushing to memoriza the notes. So, to save time by not going down to recess, I bought energy bars like the picture below. It comes in different flavours. Strawberry flavour is very nice!! And yeah, I can lose weight by eating this during recess. It has calories so I am not starving myself. LOLS.

I will update more if there is time or I am not lazy.

Signing off now.

2009-01-23T02:23:00.000-08:00

Sucky tests. Let's recap.

Chemistry
So freaking difficult CANS. I thought it would be easy as I studied hard for this particular subject. Why oh why do the setter see a need to make it so difficult? Is'nt it week three? QA was a nightmare. Copper carbonate or iron(II) carbonate. Displacement or neutralisation reaction. Oh, the choices we have to make.

Physics
It was managable. And I thought that Chemistry would be easier. Light is relatively an easy topic if you did'nt missed any lessons.

Combined Humanities
I did not get to finish the paper. So lets not elaborate. Period.

Maths
Today was Maths paper. It was so freaking difficult. I missed out some parts of question and just pluck any numbers and hope that I was lucky to get away with method marks. Alas, one should not rely on luck.

So basically, I think I flunked my term tests. Period.

I dislike rebels without a cause or those who wants to get attention.

Signing off now.

2009-01-19T06:19:00.000-08:00

Might as well give it my best shot.

I am not sure I can pass physics this time around though. Whenever this particular person sets the paper, I am bound to fail. I must do this right this time. Talk is cheap but I am going to try. Sucky topics this time round. Light? Kinematics? Not this topic again. The topic that has always doomed me to failure.

English Term Test
Difficult. But not entirely difficult. Only the summary part. Comprehension was okay. I was able to manage it. Pirates. Who could have guess. I think I will fail or pass borderline.

I am not sure whether to go school tomorrow. Laziness just gets the better of me. Guess what I saw at Popular. A book about Robert Pattinson biography. And it includes a bedroom poster of him. Laughs. Wonder who would buy it at school.

Signing off now.

2009-01-16T05:27:00.000-08:00

I have decided not to bother anymore.

You can't please everyone right?

Those that do, it is a sociable person or hypocrites. Agree?

Today NPCC training was more fun than last week. Like, duh. We talked about flagstaff and me and Jiawen called it our professional expertise area. LOLS. Flagstaff is fun. At least better than the basic knots. The juniors were responsive and cooperative. For today.

I dislike the colours of the class t-shirt. Opinions. Maybe I am saying these because I do not really like my class. I miss my sec two days. When subjects were not in combinations. Less packed timetables and the sec fours being there. They are really nice seniors. These year seem to be a crucial year but I am like slacking in the first month. I have alot of catching up to do. Actually sec fours also not bad. We are like the senior senior of the school. LOLS.

Signing off now.

2009-01-15T04:37:00.000-08:00

Here to rant about some things. I cannot keep it bottled up anymore.

Do you guys even regard me as Physical Training Instructor? Or put it plainly a pushover? Seriously, I want to know your reasons. I am inside the committee but you guys are like leaving me out. You all tell me things to do that I do not think I should do. Things like assistants P _ _ s should do. And yeah you guys told me that JH and J taking. Leave me out again. Like I am some pushover. I am freaking mad. And they are like 'volunteer P _ _s'. They were not chosen but much rather signed up for it. Some bigshot you guys are.

Am I that incapable?

I will not succumb to circumstances. I WILL NOT.
I will stand up for myself.

2009-01-10T04:50:00.000-08:00

They just don't understand.

It is just my pet peeves. Gosh, what interestings theories they have. Jealous? Gosh! How far is that from the truth itself. Nah, just to set the record straight, I do not like him so how can I be jealous. Surely you've realised that your reactions to scoldings between the different genders are like different. If you do not realised it I guess have a reality check or have some sense knocked into you. LOLS. The whole point is that to say I am jealous is simply saying you were flirting. If I were indeed jealous, then elephants really are scared of mice. Which could be proven plausible.

Wow, I think too much at times.

School has been busy these few days. Starting with the sec one orientation. My group of councillors repeatedly say I very 'emo'. I am not. That's not me. I am just very withdrawn at times and shut myself out from others.

People always misunderstand.
They just don't understand.
Dammit.

Help me understand what you are thinking.

Sigining off now.

2009-01-03T00:17:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I last posted something. Seriously, I think it was a feat not to use the computer throughout the holidays. Nope, it was not on my own will. My computer broke down and it took more than six weeks to repair. I find ridiculous. I had alot of withdrawal symptoms of not using the computer. I was easily irritated and very hard for me to sit still. My hands were itching to touch the keyboard but alas, the CPU was not there! Arg! I am okay now that the computer is finally going to be okay.

I had a shock (not literally though) when I wen to school and discovered that Miss Pay was not my form teacher. Why? I thought that sec three teachers are supposed to follow us up. Was I wrong? I am really sore about it. Miss Pay have been guiding us as a class and then this had to happened. If I could name some teachers who I really respect it would be her as she is a teacher who sticks to her principles everytime. And yeah, she very objective and fair in handling situations. I think I have to get over this soon and focus.

Continue some other time.

Signing off now.

2008-12-10T00:45:00.000-08:00

M.I.A. for the past few weeks.
Dammit.
This computer has been giving lots of problems.
Sighs.

2008-11-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

Had NPCC training last tuesday. Had the usual drills practise. Then had games which was poisonball. We played with the sec twos and ones. The game reminded me of the game captainball the sec threes now played against the NCOs batch 06 to 07. That game was worth remembering. I guess there is alot of reasons to remember.

The mind is always stronger than the body, but only just.

Had council meeting today about the camp trial run. It was dry but informative.

I am experiencing conflicting emotions nowadays. PMS?? Nope. LOLS.

Signing off now.

2008-11-09T20:31:00.001-08:00

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer!!

The trailer is like finally here althoughthe release date is next year june or july. This is like a good trailer about Voldermort in his childhood days. An excerpt from the trailer.

Tom: I can speak to snakes...they find me...whisper things.

How creepy is that?? Harry can also speak parseltongue but not in the way he says. It almost feels like he like it.

Dumbledore: Did I know that I just met the most dangerous dark wizard of all time...no.

Its disturbing how Tom Marvolo Riddle became Voldermort.

Another trailer.

I am so looking forward to the movie.

Signing off now.

2008-11-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

Twilight. Again. LOLS.

Saturday we had NPCC training. For the sec ones. We have not had training for ourselves for like so long.

It started with morning PT. We took them to the outdoor basketball court. The guy PTIs was like dominating the PT and I felt irritated. Haix. Until I told Jiawen. And then she told me to fight for it. And then it dawned upon me. Because of that I felt like I could do it. Haix. You people wouldnt understand the emotional turbulence I had fighting inside me at that particular juncture. Sometimes, I can be a total pushover.

I hope I am right.

Then we had drills. Shall not elaborate much. But it was not that bad and not that good. I had a lot to say during debrief. But I couldnt express it. I feel alot comfortable in talking to the sec ones when certain authority figures are not there. I guess its a matter of nerves. I have a lot to say in mind but I couldnt say it. Haix.

I just hope I would not stutter my words.

CONGRATS MISS ZAHARA!!
She married on Saturday. WOW. She was so pretty in the bridal dress. Me and Jiawen turned up there in NPCC PT kit. LOLS. Cause no time change. I just went there to have a look. Then saw Siti and chatted a while before turning back to Sunplaza. Onthe way to the bus stop saw an archery session. It was very cool. I am sure everyone feels like Robin Hood with those huge bows and arrows.

Then me and Jiawen went to slack in the library. We flipped through magazines. And we talked some crap and laughed ourselves silly. Then I went home after an hour or two in the library.

Signing off now.

2008-11-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

I have not been updating much so I will just skipped throught some details if its lengthy.

Firstly the MT 'O' Levels. Paper one was difficult. On the contrary, paper two was easy. Well, not exactly. I am not even sure I can attained an A2. Even so, I would like to say my appreciation to the teachers that have guided us throught this national exam. Namely, Cikgu Asnah dan Cikgu Zahara. Tak pernah terlintas di fikiran yang aku akan suka belajar tentang bahasa kalau tak ada kehadiran guru-guru macam diorang. I used to not like study for language subjects. The presence of such teachers is certainly called for. Inspiring lah katekan. Kelakar gitu.

Potluck was not so bad. Sure it would be alot of funif it was in 2E4 last year. And my best friends were in the same class. Haix.

Tomorrow training. Physical Training for the first part. I feel so unfit. Have not train like so long. Seriously, the last time I remembered I ran with all my might was the cross-country which is like so long ago. I better run some time later. Haix.

Sigining off now.

2008-11-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fateTime falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

Nice lyrics. Actually I found this song when watching a Disney Channel movie called Meet The Robinsons.
Many might dismiss this movie as a childish one but there are a lot of things you can learn in this movie.
Enough said.

Change of topic. I just want to say that I am obviously not a narcissistic person. But what you said left me pondering. Next time watch what you say before you blurt it out. Cause the littlest of things can pissed me off.

Signing off now.

2008-10-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

Edward Cullen is Hot.

I think everyone who is fan of the series knows that.

I wanna share this video which I found at http://www.youtube.com/. There is these interview with Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart a.k.a. Isabella Swan in the Twilight movie.

I like the part where they talked about each other and Kristen said this about Robert.

'' I think he's really handsome. ''

And then Robert laughed at what Kristen said. Very charming. Wakaka.

Okay I wanna write about the past events. A few days back I went with Jonquil to Jiawen's brother birthday party which was a BBQ. It was fun. We played badminton and basketball. But a pity I had to leave early. Haix.

These days I had a lot of lessons at Anderson Secondary so I had to forgo some lessons in the e2 camp. Haix. These days I have been very lazy to revise for O levels. So I gues I better start today.

Do it once. Do it good.

Signing off now.

2008-10-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

An excerpt in New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.

Edward said to Bella:

'' Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. And there was no more reason for anything. ''

Edward really has a way with words. Any girl would be swooned. Lols. I know I would, what about you people?? Lols.

I wanted to wait for the movie but I cannot resist not watching this video scene of Twilight.
I am sure everyone who is a fan of the series cannot resist too. Lols.

Signing off now.

2008-10-25T01:38:00.000-07:00

Study freaks like her have taken the word selfish to a whole new level.

Seriously.

These kind of 'study freaks'. Maybe some of you are confused by these new term called study freaks. Let me tell you what 'study freaks' is all about.

Definition: A person who studies obsessively without further understanding and one who confuses quantity over quality. Usually this kind of people are selfish.

There is one I know. More than kiasu. extremely kiasu. Teacher want to meet us all then you conveniently never tell us. I wonder what is your motive. Are you so desperate to act smart? Are you so desperate to be the best or are you just plain selfish and want to succeed on your own? That time sec one notes you delibarately did not want to let us know. These kind of people selfish like what. Want to succeed and drive out competitors like what like that.

Its hard trying to live up to peoples expectations.

Signing off now.

2008-10-24T00:29:00.000-07:00

I need to redeem myself.

I just did not try hard enough maybe. Maybe I am just lazy. There are people I do not want to disappoint with mediocre results. My parents, myself, Miss Pay, Cikgu Asnah and those who believed in me. My results are like shit these year. Yeah shit. Compared to sec one and sec two.

Screw. Last year I lost the award to her by a mere 0.2 marks. And this time I lost to her again. I do not really know by how many marks since she only told me the grade. I really cannot comprehend how come the results were like that. I remembered distinctly how I beat her in every single test beginning from this year. Except for one term test and I got the same marks for EOY as her. I still dun get how I lost to her in overall. Screw. I wanted to beat her but alas, luck was not on my side.

That 'smart alec' or should I say miss-noe-it-all kept asking redundant questions as usual today.

I think she is just trying to act smart. I have been so competitive with her that it is hindering my growth. Haix.

Updating about the Admiralty Park visit.

The map of the park.

Can you spot the komodo dragon or mudskipper??

My form teacher. Aliff is in the right part of the picture and Amanda on the left.

Jian Siang in the middle of the picture.

A desolate path. Nope just an alternate path.

Signing off now.

2008-10-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

I plead guilty to slacking during training.

Lets refresh our memory to training last Saturday. We all need to slack some times. Agree?? We were inside the np room, Jiawen and me, when someone unexpected came. We rush to adjust our uniform. Hahas. Then Rahimi sir ask what we were doing there. Fine. Lets get TECHNICAL. Instead of stating the obvious, I said we were RESTING. Muahaha.

Trust me, I would not want to listen to the lecture conducted by so and so about Crime Prevention for the sec ones. I remembered very clearly how I struggled to stay awake during the lectures in NCO camp last year. I think at one point, I was sleeping with my eyes wide open, that is if it is humanly possible. I think every single one of those who attended the camp could relate to that. Haha.

Then, we did drills for an hour or two. I expected it to be very not fun but I think it was indeed fun. I took drills with Nabillah. We got Group Three. It was made up mostly of those enthusiastic people so maybe that is part of the reason why their drills was not that bad compared to others. I am not being bias here. Frank opinion. But some advanced drills very cannot make it. Overall not a bad drill session.

Someone in the squad went around telling that Rahimi wanted to pump us more than sixty times. Turns out it was not true. The nerve of some people spreading untruths. Jiawen and me were late for the briefing. He did not scold. Unexpected. I swear sometimes we can really push his limits. He then went on telling our mistakes and yada yada yada. End of speech.

We both then went to KFC. Expectedly. At Sunplaza. That place brings alot of memories from the holding campus. We were walking aimlessly at Sunplaza. After a while, we went home. And I did not bring my belt and beret that day. I was panicking and called Jiawen cause I took the new set one and there was not any crest. So Jiawen helped me take and I searched for another belt cause it was like Santa Claus that previous one. Haha.

Okay. Today he did not came to school. Wonder why though.

Signing off now.

2008-10-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

He is staring at me lah Fatin...lols!! :] It's official. We are obsessed with Edward Cullen. Jom, kite buka fan club...haha.

Okay. Today alot things happen. Namely we got back the English Paper. My L1R5 is superrr lousy. Haix. If I could turn back time, I will do something about it. Unfortunately, I can't. For this EOY, my results some are equivalent to ''shit'. So here are the following results. Oh yeah. I have not gotten back MT so I'll update about it later.

English: Paper 1: 35/60

Paper 2: 24/50 (passed)

Combined Humanities: Social Studies 36/50

History 31/50

Total: 67/100(passed)

Physics: 45/100 (failed)

Chemistry: 55/100(passed)

E Maths: 72/100 (passed)

A Maths: 31/100(failed)

HMT: 65/100 (passed)

This is so not good. The only thing I am happy about is English, Maths and Combined Humanities. I am disappointed in my Chemistry results. Haix.

At a class, I was wondering, did'nt our teacher at school clearly stated about that component?? So i made two theories. You just like to act smart or just like to ask redundant questions.

The 'O' level MT Paper is like only twenty days away and here I am slacking. Today then I realized that teacher said got test in HMT lesson. Gosh. I did not even touch the peribahasa. I was like oh well, since I did not study might as well don't read the peribahasa and test my IQ without studying. I can crap out the lamest reason not to study. Haha.

Its eleven plus and I have not eaten my supper yet before sleeping.

Signing off now.

2008-10-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

This is my hundredth post so its gonna be superrr looong. So lets begin shall we??
Lets start with Graduation Day. I found out last minute that there was to be council duty that day. The guest of honour was like kewl. He made jokes. If I am not wrong his name is Mr Kunalan.Guess what?? He is a former athlete and he was a sprinter who represented Singapore in the past. How kewl is that!! He made jokes in his speech ( we expected it to be dry but it sure was not ) and he even called the PA people computer geeks. He was just joking though. I am sure many stereotype that PA people are computer geeks though. Haha. He talked to the graduating batch that doing their 'O' levels is like going for 'O' lympics and that we have to prepared ourselves once. He showed us his results in secondary school. It was not good but he managed to be a scholar. Kewl huh.Monica was in reception and she got to talk to the guest of honour Mr Kunalan when she was serving the cake ( that graduation day was his birthday ) and I heard our discipline master himself went to buy the cake.

Results was like not so fantastic for me. Lets sidetrack a bit here. You know those Australian Math and Science tests we have to do every year. Our teacher gave back the reults. After year of continuous PARTICIPATION certificates, I managed to get CREDIT certificate. Haha. And surprisingly the subject was maths which was supposed to be like my weakest subject.

Then we went to HMT at Anderson Secondary School. I missed Chemistry period. We got back our EOY results and the following is the results:

Paper 1: 55/90

Paper 2: 75/110

Its not that fantastic but I managed to get B3 when combined. Since the past two years I have not gotten this much for HMT EOY. Credit must be given to our HMT and MT teacher who guided us this year. Okay. Its twelve plus right now.

Signing off now.

2008-10-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

I have not been in the best of moods these week. But its the holidays (marking day), and I have been a TV junkie these few days. Not mugging can have its disadvantages. Who here pleads guilty to being a TV junkie after the exams and here we laze around at home 'rotting'. Haha. My hands are itching to play badminton. And yeah, we have to prepare ourselves alot alot.

The aftermath of the exams. Which means to say, results. Haix. I dun wan to be in the promotion list. Alot depends on the engligh results.You can passed all the subjects and failed only english and there you are in the promotion list. You can failed two subjects and passed english and you are not in the promotion list. What an irony. I can imagined being retained. Anyways we cannot possibly take alot of the sec two batch currently of their spaces next year right?? Come to think of it, it is not possible. Hey, I am trying to be optimistic here. Which is quite rare.

I am teetering on the edge. All is not certain these days about the results. I thought physics would be easy but it was not. What was there to be expect when that particular person set the paper. We have seen his standards in term test. He had definitely hit our expectations. It was freaking difficult CANS?? And dun even get me started on A Maths.

Signing off now.

2008-10-03T02:32:00.001-07:00

There is so much I wanna update. I watch F1 race last weekend. ( in the comforts of the sofa ) Who wants to in the chaotic crowd where it is so noisy just to watch. Not forgetting the smell of the burning tyres. Sniffs sniffs.

There were like 61 laps altogether and each lap was like 5km plus plus.

And Lewis Hamilton was in Singapore. (nope thats not a picture of him in Singapore)

And he won third place.

Never have I seen an F1 race with so much drama happening.

Physics SPA.

It was so awkward in the lab under the scrutiny of all the invigilators.

I think I did a few mistakes but oh well I cant dwell on it.

Its over. A Maths on Monday. Screams in panic.

Lets make the best of it.

I need to grab some sleep recovery.

ZZZ.

Signing off now.

More than a name. Or a face in the crowd.

2008-09-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

I wanna go Night Study like last year in sec two!!

But with so many sec threes going it has lost its novelty to me.

Haix.

The English paper was so hard especially in passage B.

I dun wan to flung this eoy but I dun have the motivation.

Unlike last year.

I actually enjoyed mugging last year.

Now it has become such a chore.

Haix.

So not prepared for ss and history paper.

Arg! Grr!

I cannot wait for the end of this eoy exams.

MT exam was so awkward.

I did not expect that I would sit there.

So near yet so far.

There I go blabbing nonsense.

Okay.

Signing off now.

2008-09-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time haven update much these few days.
And I have alot to clear things off my mind.
And yeah to a certain 'goldfish' is that
your mouth is so full of shit that I wonder how you are able to close it.
Lols.

Today was Chemistry SPA 'O' Level. It was so nerve-wrecking. Our class was still showing signs that we had a major exam just now cause two teachers commented on it. After class ended we went to the library but I could not really effectively study. Until went Night Study. Night Study last year was so much fun CANS cause were in the holding campus which brings back so much memories. And yeah I find that the seniors which is the graduating batch last year the seniors more nice. I think that those were the highlights in sec two. I really missed those times the trainings when they were there. I cannot grasp the fact that we are seniors now. Childish me. Lols.

Update more if got time.

If you think you wasted your time then
we think you are not worth our time.
If you (a certain someone) are still reading our blogs then
get a life people.

And I smiled to myself at class.

Signing off now.

2008-09-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

And there he was staring at Bella.

Woah. He is hot.

Reasons because he has intense eyes that can melt you

like a butter in the sun. (lol)

He got that accent that is so nice.

He has that mysterious aura around him that

makes you curious and want to know more.

His smile and sly smile is so awesome

you tend to smile to yourself uncontrollably.

Bella and Edward is very compatible.

I wanna watch the movie. Read the book

and it was awesome.

Usually I do not really like this kind of novels.

But this is an exception.

Now thats saying something people.

Haha.

Probably M.I.A. these few days in blog cause busy with exams.

Signing off now.

My Life Today

2008-09-14T01:47:00.000-07:00

Liverpool won against Manchester United!!

I just had to watch it and not study.

My Life Today

2008-09-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was HMT End of Year Exam.

It was raining heavily in the morning.

When we reach Anderson Secondary, it was still raining.

Maya, Fatin, Afza and me were like mugging.

A while later Adriana and Syahirah came.

Persatuan Budak Melayu Lanjutan Yishun Town!!

LOLS.

Elaborating about the exam. This post will be peppered with malay words

so if you dun understand, dun read.

Aku terperanjat bila paper Karangan B pasal peribahasa:

''Ambil patinya, buangkan hampasnya.''

One word. Hancur. I flung my Karangan B.

But the paper 2 prosedur kloz section was surprisingly easy.

The first part pasal imbuhan hancur jugak.

I took around ten minutes for that section and then hentam je sembarang.

LOLS.

Harap-harap the marks for paper 2 can compensate for my

mediocre Karangan B.

Masih ade harapan ke nak surpassed budak tu...haix.

Signing off now.

2008-09-07T00:29:00.000-07:00

Cheers Age Group (Doubles) Badminton Championship 2008

Yio Chu Kang Sports Hall

The interior of the sports hall.

Me and Jiawen went to watch badminton finals.

And they were awesome.

Their swerves are like fast and they smack the shuttlecocks with superior strength.

On the other side of the sports hall.

And they was Sports School people who participated.

On the right hand side is the Sports School people whereas the left

is the Independent School

Talk about stiff competition.

They were up against Independent school.

We were actually rooting for the Independent school to win

but they did not manage to win.

But they put up a really tough fight against the Sports School people.

Me and Jiawen started to get restless when we watch match after match.

We then went CWP Popular before going home.

Signing off now.

My Life Today

2008-09-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

Three more days to the premiere of Camp Rock!!

I cannot wait to watch it.

The Jonas Brothers are acting in it.

My favourite member of the band is Nick Jonas

who acts as Nate in the movie.

And he is superrrr cuteeee!!

Need I say more??

_________________________________

Camp Rock premieres on Disney Channel

7:30 pm.

_________________________________

Nick Jonas with his guitar.

A synopsis of the movie I got from

http://www.tv.com/camp-rock/show/74752/summary.html

A young girl named Mitchie Torres is desperate to go to Camp Rock. When her mom is hired as the Camp's cook, she gets to go as long as she helps out in the kitchen. When she is overheard singing by rock star Shane Gray, who goes to the camp to get an attitude adjustment, he sets out to find the mystery girl with the wonderful voice. Mitchie has no idea that Shane ever heard her sing so she doesn't try to get him to hear her voice. But when camp queen Tess Tyler, the daughter of mega-star TJ Tyler, finds out Shane is looking for Mitchie, she makes sure that he will never hear her sing.

Signing off now.

My Life Today

2008-09-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Rain, rain go away. Come again another day.

It has been raining these few days.

I am feeling blue cause of the cancellation of the

drill competition.

A few days before the competition then you all say this.

Haix. All those trainings.

Those four schools that backed out.

Why oh why??

Do you know your actions have a chain reaction to

other schools.

Why oh why??

Do you have to backed out after all these trainings.

Haix. I cannot help but feel a little resentful.

I finish the English homework!!

There is still a lot more to go though.

And they still said there will be no homework.

What a load of crap.

Spare a thought.

My Life Today

2008-09-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

Badminton!!

Random. Again.

Went to school yesterday for Miss Lim's physics lesson.

She sure have a way of making things that are difficult to be simple.

I really ought to thank her for making me pass physics.

We learn about heat capacity.

The S.I. units just keep getting harder and harder.

Then played badminton when the class ended.

Played with Jiawen, Jonquil and Syahirah.

Played against Jack and Cai Feng.

Jack plays really good.

Its was hilarious when they made silly mistakes.

Then when to slack in NPCC room.

Actually I did my homework.

Heehee.(reminds me of someone right JonQ)

The trainings was like hard cause I cannot drink.

Rahimi sir and Zhuang Yi mam came and trained us.

Rahimi sir said that it was the best drills we ever showed him

but it was the first time.

So it was kinda an insult hidden in a praise. (IRONY)

Haha. Then Jiawen and me played badminton. Again.

She actually bought the badminton net.

It was superrr.

I had a fun time yesterday.

I gotta work on my swerves.

She laughs herself. How ridiculous.

2008-09-02T21:35:00.001-07:00

Dont you guys feel really stupid.
I heard from JonQ that someone said
It takes two hands to clap.
Now do you guys feel stupid talking about us
when the truth is that we do not really care neither
do I read your blogs.
So there is only one hand after all. Yours.
We got a suggestion. Why dun you try clapping with one
hand or in this case keep going on cause it is really ridiculous
how you guys are actually talking to yourselves.
Cause it really is the analogy.
Thanks guys for bringing such a definite phrase to these situation.

I got a few questions that does not need answers but gives you the chance to ponder about it.

Why is the leading character keeping quiet these days and instead letting others (which is to say more than seven of you kpohs) involved.

Who is to say I am not involved that I am simply a bystander interfering and biting my own words when I am. Were you all there to witness what really happened when it was us four who ate together and hang out together. Contradictory I say you all.

Do you seriously think that I am that stupid to go read your blog. You can ask me to read through other people blogs but I am not going to do that. Let me tell you these your efforts are futile cause I am not going to read it. I am not the kind to blog hop to people who does not affect my life. (Now I am seriously going to consider lodging a report about PUBLIC NUISANCE)
Yeah there is even a law about it in Singapore.

Definition of nuisance:
Law. something offensive or annoying to individuals or to the community, esp. in violation of their legal rights.

Hmm...do we really play a big part of your lives to bother. Did you create an adverse impact in your lives that you guys actually keep updates on your blog about us. Cause I really dun give two hoots what you guys write. In fact I never actually read your blogs. I heard you ridiculous acts through friends. In that case, we are really flattered. :)

And the last question. Is your lives really ludicrously pathetic that you can make a mountain out of a mole, busying about other people's lives that you want to blow up a matter to spice up your lives. Or is it really just to make yourselves feel important.

And I thought that you guys will comply by deleting. So I guess that you did not want to settle this amicably.

Aint going to blog about this or read your blogs cause youguys dun affect our lives at all besides you are not really part of the picture. Just squeezing their way through. :)

2008-09-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

Thats it. I had enough.
I can tolerate shit but my patience has limits.
I have never mention your names but you choose to take it the hard way
by mentioning her name in someone blog.
Do you know we can press charges for that??
For defamation and slandering.
I have collected your IP add.
I am only waiting for the moment.
I can settle this peacefully I seriously can.
But not until the spammers responsible owns up.
I have delete the most recent post and I hope you can stop this ridiculous spamming.
And no I am not going to let you off this time.

And to the spammer who said what do I know about friendship when I have so and so friends.
You are seriously very naive if you dictate that a person knows more about friendship
by the number of friends she have. How pathetic.
I can tell you straight in the face that I was a very sociable person who has
a wide circle of friends in and outside of school.
You can ask Fatin as she was in my primary school mate.
But I realise something about friendships that although sometimes they come
and go. It is better to have a best friend than have ten good friends.
You will notice the difference one day.
Till now you still naive to mention that in my tagboard.

Grow up.

2008-08-31T01:27:00.000-07:00

To all procrastinators out there.
I got this from a website. www.wisdomquotes.com

The Procrastinator's Creed:
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
source unknown -

I am not in a good mood today due to some reasons.

Just so any readers comes here to read please:

Do not believe that in a certain 'fat cat' cause only an ounce of what she writes is the truth.

Now is really not a good time to get on my nerves.

My Life Today

2008-08-29T00:20:00.001-07:00

I do not forget friends;
neither do I forget enemies

I sense a conspiracy. Gosh.

The Teacher's Day concert was awesome.

Too bad at some points I was like doing duty.

Guess what.

We were not allowed to sit.

Please lah.

In three years I have not get to watch a full concert due to

council obligations.

Gosh. How did I get into this stuff..??

After Teacher's Day I went to play badminton

with Jiawen and Jonquil.

Shan't elaborate much but it was fun.

Then went home at around one thirty when I received Fatin's call

to meet up with some primary school mates.

I was superrrr tired so I did not go.

Maybe next year.

I dun feel a longing to go back to my primary school.

And I can't figure out why.

LOL.

I do not think we are the least prepared if we were match up to taller opponents.

2008-08-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

Some people can be so ignorant.

My Life Today

2008-08-23T03:19:00.000-07:00

I finished watching Avatar Book 3 episodes.

I love the last episode ''The Final Battle''.

The orange colour dude flying is The Avatar Aang.

Below him is Katara(girl) and Sokka(dude).

The latest episodes are AWESOME.

The Firelord was defeated and lost his fire bending abilities.

His son Prince Zuko gets his throne.

This is Prince Zuko.

He is kinda EMO.

He used to be bad and wanted to hunt Avatar Aang to restore his honour as a prince.

He changed his ways and helped Avatar and the gang defeat the Firelord.

He had a disturbed childhood and had a few internal struggles with himself

in some of the episodes.

This is Toph.

A blind earth bender who can see with earth bending.

She is cool character in the anime.

Overall

Avatar: The Legend of Aang is really a cool anime.

My Life Today

2008-08-22T05:01:00.000-07:00

Refering to the article in The New Paper dated 21.08.2008 Page 21

The article is about foreign talent debate.

The title of the article: 'Success of foreign talent discourages locals'.

I agree with the writer of the article, Ryan Huang about the article.

Some excerpts of what he wrote in the article:

''We have to be mindful not to use them as substitutes for home-grown talent.''

''The message this sends out is 'don't bother trying, we can find a foreigner who's better than you to wear the jersey'.''

'' Our real mission should be to nurture local talent.''

''It's not all about winning.''

My favourite excerpt of the article is the last one about how it is not

all about winning.

I am not against foreign talent playing for Singapore

but when it deprives the chance for local talent who is just as good

to represent Singapore, it bothers me.

My Life Today

2008-08-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

I AM SO ADDICTED TO THIS SONG CURRENTLY

FALL FOR YOU by Secondhand Serenade

Oh, hold your breath

cause tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

A Maths lesson yesterday got me having

tears swimming in my eyes.

I kept wiping the tears off but the tears kept swimming back.

And no, not because I find the lesson very touching.

It was because I kept yawning and tears just seemed to form.

It makes the whole meaning of bored to tears real to me.

And yeah, I was really bored to tears.

Literally.

I happened to hear this conversation between Akhbar and Dinn at class.

We were doing Binomial Theorem or something like that.

Dinn: I think I know the problem already. (referring to maths question)

Akhbar: Yeah your brain.

And I actually laughed.

Results were like bugging me today.

But no results of the term test were out today.

And here are some things that I wanted to say but being morally right to me is not to

say in your face.

1) Admitting it out loud does not make it alright.

2) Its one thing to be hardworking but another to be very paranoid.

3)I really hate freeloaders who bank on people's things and

and do not feel in the least guilty about it.

4)Talk is cheap.

Signing off now.

My Life Today

2008-08-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

Special Message to Jiawen

Thanks alot for what you have done today.

Without you being alert I might lost the chance to become PTI

due to SOME people.

Many many thanks.

Seriously.

NPCC training

I was not enthu today.

Due to SOME reasons.

But the fun part of the training was when it ended and almost

all of the sec one NCOs sit together in the NPCC room

and switched off the lights.

We were telling supernatural stories.

We had a few scares.

Especially when Clivan screamed.

It was hilarious.

Signing off now.

Today At School

2008-08-15T05:02:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps~~America's swimming athlete

Michael Phelps is an athlete to watch in the Olympics 2008 held in Beijing.

He is like an all-rounder in the swimming pool.

He is currently in the running for his 8 or 9 olympic gold medals bid.

Currently he has won around six gold medals.

I remembered watching him in the previous Olympics in Athens.

There was a swimming rival too, Ian Thorpe.

He retired recently though.

Most likely Michael Phelps would be successful in his bid to get Olympic golds

base on his recent superb and fantastic performance.

Tao Li~~Singapore's swimming athlete

She made history be entering into the finals in a swimming event

in the Olympics 2008 held in Beijing.

She became the first in Singapore to qualify into the finals of the

swimming event.

Such fierce determination to win.

It sure feels great to be able to represent your country in a sports event.

Had Chemistry paper today.

I think I did okay except for the topic on the mole concept and chemistry calculations.

It is a topic that proves yet again as a topic that I find

hard to grasp the concept.

A Maths was worse.

The worst has yet to come meaning Physics paper.

I really got to buck up for this term.

No more slacking.

I caught on this advice a little too late.

Term test is going to be over.

Lets reap the benefits of hard work after all the

mugging for all the tests.

Signing off now.

A maths test

2008-08-11T03:50:00.001-07:00

I lamented to myself:

Why bother when I fail it time after time??

Thats the pessimistic side or me.

Hey, I am being realistic to myself.

Going to M.I.A. for one week.

So will not update much.

Oh, blame the term tests.

P.S. : Went to Orchard yesterday with my family.

And we saw a vending machines that dishes out UMBRELLAs.

Yeah UMBRELLAs.

Wakaka.

Signing off now.

Today At School

2008-08-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

YTSS National Day Parade

One point I want to say.

I feel last year parade more better in my point of view.

The whole parade was okay.

Except the part where ONE INCIDENT diverted the attention

of the whole parade.

Shall not reveal details.

Phototaking

We were overcome with fatigue after the parade.

The phototaking was like better than last year.

It was kind of shorter and we were all standing in front

of the fountain.

Shift here. Shift there. Shift everywhere.

I am sure all the NPCC cadets present in the phototaking

get my drift.

POP Parade

I feel last year POP parade was much more fun and memorable.

Perhaps it is a matter of opinion.

And I got one more thing I want to say.

NDP 2008 is over.

Gone is the trainings.

And the scoldings.

Signing off now.

Today At School

2008-08-07T05:09:00.000-07:00

To the Spammer

Hey spammer. Can you get any stupider or are you just plain stupid..??

I track your IP address for both times. It corresponds with the spammer

in Jiawen's blog. You have been changing computers. Smart move. But you

can outsmart me and Jiawen. Hmm...It's only a matter of time.

You wanna us to teach you the hard way. We WILL TEACH you the hard way.

That is through legal laws. Let me tell you the COLD HARD truth.

Spam Control Bill

The Bill also proposes that anyone who suffers damages or loss arising from spam be given the right to initiate legal action against non-compliant spammers. The draft Bill also proposes that if found guilty, non-compliant spammers can be directed by the court to stop their spamming activities or pay damages to the affected parties.

This applies only in Singapore.

Apparently your IP address unfortunately for you is in Singapore.

So I dedicate this whole post for you.

This post is specially type by me to you.

I tracked your IP address already.

And your efforts in spamming is futile cause whatever you write

is just deleted off. So sad for you.

Me and Jiawen would like to give the the trouble for messing with us

through legal actions.

Next time, do not even try to mess with us.

Today At School

2008-08-05T19:53:00.001-07:00

At school computer lab now in History lesson.

History lessons with our teacher is kewl.

People always stereotype that history is a mundane subject to learn about.

Yesterday NPCC meeting with the sec threes was like unsuccessful.

Wisdom of the Day

''Being a sour grape dun do anyone any good.''

Groundless conflicts.

Let me emphasise the word ' groundless'.

We get our sergeant rank cause we earned it.

If you do not deserve it, then do not talk so much.

In what way do you think we do not deserve it or that

your drills is superior to us??

Know your limits can??

Today At School

2008-08-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

Today's training was strangely interesting.
We had a two complete rehearsals of the NDP parade.

A note to remember:
Please dun discuss then ask us to form up.
We are like waiting for instructions after we form up.
Very tiring and waste our energy.
Let me fill in the details.

I have to admit I missed the times in last year NDP parade.

Why..??

1. NPCC was the GOH.

2. The sec fours then were commanding the parade.

3. Being in a supporting contingents is tiring.

And waiting for the GOH inspection to finish almost feels like forever.

March pass is the part most of the people inside the contingent looks forward to.

We thought it was over but it was'nt.

We had a muster parade where some of us get our ranks and badges.

It feels great to be sergeant.

Like finally.

Then came the irritating part where our TO scolded us.

It felt like forever when she scold us for like one hour.

We are tired. We came back from two parades.

The muster parade. And we had to listen to some crap.

Conflicts.

I feel like telling these two people involved in the conflict.

If you are not qualified enough, dun kid yourself into joining.

I dun care if your drills are that good.

I seriously dun care.

But the thing is, it is'nt.

Just because of some rotten eggs we have to listen to the crap.

Where were you in the second parade rehearsal...??

2008-08-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

Hey coward. Dun want write your name.
Keep spaming.
Lets see who will laugh last.
I DARE YOU.
HEY have you heard of the phrase.

''TAKES ONE TO SAY ONE.''
You are the bloody b****.

You wanna mess with me through this coward methods AND
beware cause I WILL get even with you.
I am gonna hunt you down.

Today At School

2008-07-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

I never went training yesterday because

of some Youth Achievers Forum.

Parade form up.

Moo. That was random.

I am in no mood to type more.

But you know what they say.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Signing out now.

2008-07-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

Something interesting I came across today.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?

Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.

~Abraham Lincoln~

Haha :D

Prison Break 3

I watched the episode this week.

Finally I can see them breaking out of the prison.

Who knows anti-climax again like get caught breaking out

and Michael Scofield would be back to square one again.

Next Episode Review

Hell or High Water

Michael, Whistler, and Mahone make their break from Sona.

But Mahone seems like the odd man out along the way.

2008-07-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day

''To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.''

~Amos Bronson Alcott~

malady=any undesirable or disordered condition

Hurray.

We learn a new word today.

2008-07-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

At school library now.
Need to go hmt in a few minutes time.
When I get home, I will be so tired.
And, I have physics test tomorow.
Gosh.
My schedule everyday is so routine.

Energy, Work and Power.

Topic we are tested in the test.

Have not been doing homework for the past few days.

Make that weeks.

Arg.

Signing out now.

Today At School

2008-07-19T22:41:00.001-07:00

This kinda expresses what I am feeling right now.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

* I am weird. *

Today At School

2008-07-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Sergeant Test
We were tested based on

1. M.O.I. (Method of Instruction)

2. Drills

3. Uniform

4. First Aid

Rahimi sir did not have the time to test
us on First Aid.
Lucky us.
We did not prepared enough for it.
Let me go into details of the sergeant test.

After a long time waiting for my turn to do M.O.I., it was finally my turn.

I marched out and Rahimi sir said that I had to teach them 'turun senjata' which to put the arms into 'sedia' position. He also made it a wee bit difficult by telling me that I cannot move my squad to form a U shape around me. I was like WHAT?!?! I had to make the best of it.

I told the squad that if you cannot see me shift yourselves.

I did not even know if it violates the instruction of not

shifting the squad to make a U shape.

I was like whatever.

I actually was scared and stutter my words in the first part

when I was explaining.

But I gathered the momentum and did okay.

If the First Aid test was on that day I would have failed.

It was a blessing in disguise and I can study for the test.

* Its almost disgusting how she manipulates the situation to favour her. *

Today At School

2008-07-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

Mood at the moment: Happy;angry;relieved

Had e maths lesson today.

I was so scared cause I did not bring my homework.

I was shaking (not literally) but still scared.

But hey my maths teacher just went past my table and did not

see that I did not do that homework.

Phew. Make that double phew.

Then had English.

I did the homework okay so I was not tense.

Npcc training.

Training quite fun today.

Not much of scoldings.

The sec ones also very cooperative.

With some exceptions of course.

There is always bad eggs in a basket.

Did I get that proverb right...??

Tomorrow sergeant test.

I must pass it with flying colours.

Oh wait.

I have not polish my boots.

Polish my badge.

Study first aid.

Oh well.

I will just make the best with the time I have.

Must learn about cramps.

Muscle cramps.

Leg cramps.

Period cramps anyone...??

Wakakaka.

Me signing out now.

2008-07-13T23:13:00.001-07:00

Mood at the moment: Normal

Suck-ups.

Bootlickers.

Whatever you call it.

Damn it. Why are people like that.

And the people they suck-up to. Do you even

freaking realised they are sucking-up to you or are you just

playing dumb or ignorant.

I have something against these kind of people.

Giving them priorities just because they suck-up to you.

Wake up your idea.

Today At School

2008-07-13T05:52:00.000-07:00

Mood at the moment: Normal

I am so called freaking out about the maths test on tuesday.

And the social studies test on the same day too.

And the 'O' Level MT Listening Comprehension on the same day too.

So basically my schedule is packed with tests and exams next week.

To anyone who reads my blog please tag about the song I put on my blog.

I took along time to get the song because I did not know the title of the song.

I only like certain techno song though.

So any comments about the song please kindly tag on the tagboard

because my tagboard is getting emptier(is there such a term...??) by the day.

Got another meeting at six forty five on tuesday.

Why on earth tuesday...??

I wanna buy that assessment book sometime this week.

Random comment.

* The prank is pulling off very well. *

Today At School

2008-07-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Mood at the moment: Normal

NDP training was like mundane.

There ws not much events that is worth to highlight about.

I do not really like training wearing uniform.

I wanna wear PT kit do drills.

But then again whats the point of drills without uniform.

And then the unexpected thing happen which turn things around for the better .

We went to Northpoint and saw someone unexpected.

We walk past that someone.

And that someone smile so broadly.

Me and Jiawen was like woah.

After walking past that someone, we walk a distance and keep staring at

that someone until that someone walk out of the particular shop.

Me and Jiawen were so jubilant and kept talking about it.

What a coincidence we were walking there.

* I will remember your smile. *

Today At School

2008-07-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just now had a maths lessons.

Honestly, how much of this can I take before I finally snap, I wonder.

Had NPCC training. Guess what.

I finally went one whole day of training without Jiawen and Jonquil around.

I took drills and campcraft ( I really need to brush up on my knots and lashing ) and took part in games. The sec ones were cooperative with us most of the times with exceptions. Question is, how long more before we can take strict actions with that attitude of hers.

When she needs to play a game of captainball in the game section she and her

friends sat in the middle of the parade square stretching out their legs.

They ignored the entire game.

WTH.

JUST WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE HUH?!?!

That you can do whatever you want or is it just that

you very bigshot in the team.

I have alot of answers for that question each as unlikely as the next.

WTH.

Then do not join to begin with.

Next about the meetings conducted in the early morning

You said yourself that you everytime wait for latecomers and its not fair to you if you

had to wait for the latecomers every meeting.

But I have been to two meetings recently and guess what. I did not even see

you there. EXCUSES.

Why are people like that.

Please walk the talk.

Tomorrow got NDP NPCC training at school.

I am tired. Me signing out for now.

Today At School

2008-07-10T05:25:00.001-07:00

Summarising some of the events that happened the past few weeks

3 July 2008

Oral exam. Correction. Major exam. It was disastrous in my point of view. I did not had much to say to the questions. Its over. I should get over it.

5 July 2008

I get to raise the flag with Jiawen for the first time. It was memorable in a good and bad way. Jiawen should know why. Tsk. Tsk.

The past few days in a maths lesson

I am not sure what I have been doing for the past few lessons. Daydreaming I guess. Maybe sleeping. I do not even understand the simplest of the logarithm questions on the whiteboard. Its like learning a whole different language. And so called ''the icing on the cake'' is that

A Maths test next Tuesday

Maths sure is full of surprises. -.-''

What can I say about the test. Perhaps I am prepared to flung the test. The pessimistic never got far as they say but at times like these I know when to be realistic. Hoping against hope that I will pass the test.

I find it difficult to laugh at jokes nowadays. I think I am getting a little bit to serious about everything. Life without laughter sure is mundane. I have to study now for test. Signing out.

2008-07-07T17:22:00.000-07:00

My computer got problem.

And now I am in the school computer lab doing some school work.

Haix.

I haven been going online.

The com is going to be okay in a week time.

Arg.

My hands are itching to go online.

Today At School

2008-06-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait for the next

PT session.

And this time I am making amends.

Cause somebody said the last session

was a sloppy PT.

I want to make the next PT

a tough one.

Today At School

2008-06-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

Random picture. (Lol..??)

I did not use the three packets.

The CIs keep telling us to refill our water bottles.

So no use use the packets cause no taste for 1.5 litre water bottles.

Homework.

Alot of it.

Undone.

Unfinished.

Half-way through.

I should be doing homework right now.

Today At School

2008-06-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Survival Camp 2008

Pulau Ubin

NPCC

I was in Charlie group. I felt a little pissed that and felt like I would not enjoy the

camp cause Jiawen not in the same group. Seriously

Jiawen and me would be super enthu if we were in the same

group. My mood was disturbed in the morning.

But guess what Charlie was a group of cool people.

And by cool I mean they are a bunch of funny and enthu people.

There were people who dun really care what happens to the group.

Our group consists of me nabillah izzah me and gina farid

the ytss people.

The things I wanna mention was the

Campfire Performance.

We taught we were going to screw the performance

cause of lack preparation.

But our performance turn out good.

The campfire MC, Rahimi sir, said that

quoted ''That was something.''

It really boost our morale for the campfire night.

And one more thing about the camp.

PT was damn tough.

And by tough I mean really really tough.

Or maybe you could blame on my fitness level.

Again the PTI was Rahimi sir.

We should have expected it.

And more thing I would like to mention

a funny incident in the camp.

When the camp coordinator ask us to fall in

and hold up our bottles and ponchos.

He made us run back again and again to fall in.

And in the confusion, I fall in in the Bravo group girls section.

By the time I realised that the camp coordinator told us not to move.

My thoughts were racing.

What if they ask us to report.

Is Bravo going to have one extra person and Charlie going to have

one less person and the CIs going to keep shouting??

I looked around.

I held my breath.

I move to the guys section for Charlie.

Just one step.

Relax. They will not see.

When they ask to hold the ponchos up

I ran back to where I was supposed to be.

Mission Accomplished.

Today At School

2008-06-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

My Rantings Part 2
Warning: If you do not like
what I wrote do yourself
a favour and click on the
right button at the top right
hand corner.

If want respect or want us to respect you

then you wouldnt be doing this kind of implementation

of rules.

you wouldnt want to be so authoritarian like.

whatever it is we are still your squadmates

like it or not we are not one year older or younger than you.

THEN why do have to draw a DISTINCTION between you five heads and

the rest of us?!?!

We are not dispensable.

I recalled you guys saying

''When we need you to come down we will call you if not

then you are not to come down for training.''

Just what are you guys trying to say

that we are dispensable

what you have said only makes us feel that we dun belong in NP.

You should at least said or phrased it in a tacful manner

but still deliver the same message.

We dun feel like we belong.

* You are wearing a hat much bigger than your head.*

Today at School

2008-06-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

My Rantings Part 1
Warning: I value Freedom of Speech
as long as there is no defamation.
If You do not like what I wrote
please do yourself a favour and
click the red button on the top right hand corner.

Just came back from an awesome camp.

Did I just say awesome??

No it was no where near that.

Everything we thought was going to run smoothly

went wrong.

Example was the campfire and PT.

And

On the last day of camp during the debrief.

They announced that the NCOs besides the five heads is barred

from entering the NP room.

I felt it was unfair.

The previous batch have never done such a rule.

The reason behind it was that

they wanted to clear the administration things and clean

the room.

Then what makes us any different from our juniors??

We are NCOs yet we are barred from entering the NP room

without any reason relating to training.

Today At School

2008-06-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

There are certain standards people expect from us.

There are certain obligations we have to uphold.

To disappoint those people who are counting on us

is as though you are letting down yourself.

You would question yourself.

Why am I doing this?

Am I doing this for them or myself?

Am I doing this due to obligations or glory?

Am I doing what I really want?

Question yourself and from there move on.

Sec 1 camp

I am really nervous about what is going to happen

during the sec 1 camp.

I am scared that I will screw up during the PT session.

Had a taste of conducting PT.

It was weird but you feel a sense of accomplishment when the PT turn out to be a success.

Someone tell me to be more fierce.

Being too fierce can work two ways.

People will rebel cause they dun like being force to do something.

People will follow your instructions but they will respect you out of fear.

I dun want that to happen.

I suggest being fierce at the right times would be alright.

When you did that I feel like smiling to myself stupidly.

Today At School

2008-06-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I updated my blog.

Tsk.Tsk.

Alot has been going on nowadays.

Mainly, school holidays are not holidays anymore. I guess holidays are meant for us to catch

up on our studies. Its just like school except its in a slower and relax pace.

We had a Leadership and Mentoring Skills Course for the past two days.

Cannot really say it was a blast.

It was mundane at some points to be truthful.

What were we expecting?

Lectures to be exciting?

We played Bingo during the lectures.

If we did not I think we slept already during the lectures.

One of the lectures about leadership was particularly interesting.

We had to do a personality test called

Personality Type (DISC)

There is four main categories of person you can be and type of leadership you have.

Namely, 1) Dominance

2) Influence

3) Steadiness

4) Conscientious

I am a mixture of dominance and steadiness.

Some of the other school people have the same combination as mine.

The instructors described we people as follow

>> Introvert. (steadiness)

True at some points.

>> When given power they will use it well. (dominance)

Maybe. I can never know for sure.

>> This kind of people are usually ''emo'' at times.

Puzzled. ''Emo''??

He also said emotional and emo are two different things.

Jonquil told me his explanation was quite true.

I also find his explanations describing Jonquil is also quite true to describe her.

But then again.

This test could be quite inaccurate.

People could judge themselves inaccurately.

Nevertheless this lecture was the lecture that I did not feel like sleeping.

On the whole, the whole course was beneficial but mundane.

Today At School

2008-05-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

Unselfish, caring, fair, impartial.

Everything you are NOT

Why got so many trainings dun want to tell us.

I cannot believe how selfish you guys are.

Even if there is enough people the least you could ask who want to

go training.

At least you are giving us the option.

If too many people at least we can understand the situation.

At least we know and not KEPT IN THE DARK.

Just what are you guys trying to tell us.

Come on.

I bet the previous batch and the other batch

is not like us.

Oh wait.

I almost forgot.

THE WORLD AIN'T FAIR.

Today At School

2008-05-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

The unspeakable truth

My Level Ranking

It cant get any worse can it.

Weird huh now.

What it really feels like being in the bottom 20 percent.

I guess I really need to buck up alot.

I cant leave it and do nothing about it.

I feel really stupid.

I tried. I did.

Maybe it is not hard enough.

* I just want to make you and myself proud. *

Today At School

2008-05-17T03:57:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Jurong Point with Jiawen.

We were there for at least two plus hours.

A keychain I bought from a machine in Toy R Us

See it glow.

LOL.

We walked around the whole shopping centre.

We went to Toy R Us.

There were so many cool toys.

It kind of bring the kid in us.

When the day ended we search for a neoprint shop.

There is no neoprint shop there.

We had fun.

We ate at KFC.

As usual.

LOL.

When we were going around the shopping mall

Jonquil was at tuition.

Tsk.Tsk.

We had a great time overall.

Today At School

2008-05-16T04:15:00.000-07:00

I let myself down this time.

Scribbling can be fun.

What happened to my grades.

Overall I failed one subject but I am stiil disappointed.

DUH.

Just now got NPCC training.

Jiawen and Jonquil had to leave half way cause they got shooting.

Thought that I would be in a not so mood cause of their absence.

I thought wrong.

Though it would be so much fun if Jiawen was there.

She and I could have goofed around quite a bit.

Jonquil was wandering about with her friend.

I was teaching the same group of sec ones

as Clivan Farid and Kendrik.

I thought they would keep quiet

but we goofed around the sec ones.

We taught them turning drills

but it turned out to be confusing.

We laughed at the sec ones when they were doing drills

when we played a little competition to make the drills more interesting.

It turned out quite interesting.

LOL.

Received the school holiday assignment.

Very thick stack of paper

to be called homework.

I must try to finish the homework one week before holiday ends.

Procrastination can get in the way at times.

It has been quite a while since we utter a work to each other.

Today at School

2008-05-14T08:59:00.001-07:00

Strumming away the sorrow of exam results.

Me and my guitar
(although two strings are out of tune)

Have I been slacking

Cause my results are like

hmm

a disaster

oh well oh well

I guess I better deal with it

I pledge to buck up tremendously

in the next term test and end of year exams.

I pledge to myself that I will make a comeback

I should not fall in the vicious cycle of failing and always giving up after

not so good results.

YEAH

I will not let myself down anymore.

Today at School

2008-05-13T06:17:00.000-07:00

People change.

I am talking in the context of friends.

And here I am wondering have you been faking it being friends with me.

We used to laugh at class last year being very good friends.

We had our differences I agree.

We dont talk like we used to anymore.

I cant believe the questions you ask my friend about me.

You think I am gonna fight it out with you.

Come on.

You think I so childish like you.

Well think again.

Enough about that. Yesterday went HMT.

And I was supposed not to go to school cause I did not have any exams yesterday.

I got back my HMT exam results.

I got A2 for paper 2 and karangan.

Improved tremendously.

Daripada selalu dapat C6.

I should maintained these results.

Tomorrow we have to go back to school.

Frankly I am nervous about the results.

Blog again if I am free.